I’ve been dumb, dumb, dumb!

And I'm feeling happy and liberated to have actually noticed it at last.

I spend so much time doings things that if I thought about them in advance I'd know they will never work out, or be useful, or produce the results I intend.

Like I've spent an hour or more this evening writing posts to people that were never likely to take on board what I had to say.

And I would have known it, if I had even asked myself if that was a productive thing to be doing.

That is just the way of the world, sometimes people are in a place to hear you, your relationship is such that they'll listen, and other times they're not.

But I feel obliged to "make a contribution" and "make a difference".

Well, there's not much contribution if they're not in a place to hear.

And meantime I leave undone things that are important to get done.

It's bad news of the liberating kind: How I waste so much of my life, and the habits and thinking that drive me there. The complusion to do the caring, good, contributing thing, which actually makes no difference at all.

Freedom – I don't have to do that.

There's the possiblity of being accountable and responsible for the hours of my life. Owning my life. Literally not wasting my breath.

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6 Responses to I’ve been dumb, dumb, dumb!

  1. Kavitha says:

    I’ve felt like that at many times, but I think, eventually you’ll realize that it’s important to do the right thing and to make a contribution, regardless of what consequences it has or if it produces any results. Making an effort is important, but do not compromise on being yourself and enjoying life.

  2. Abs says:

    Are you referring to us?
    We do listen, honest.
    Just enjoy yourself, and do what’s best for you.
    Abs x

  3. Ah, another thing I should’ve known… if you name names the person will be upset, if you don’t name names, everyone will think you meant them!

    I certainly didn’t meant you Abs!

    But I think I am going to avoid naming anyone just the same.

  4. Hi Kavitha.

    Good to see you.

    I’m a lot older than you. So what I’ve eventually realised is what you see before you.

    But probably what I said before can’t be properly understood without knowing a lot more about me and where I’m at.

    Which may emerge as I write further.

  5. Kavitha says:

    Maybe the context of my comments may be misplaced regarding your situation, since I don’t know you personally or even well enough online. But I don’t think it has much to do with age. For me, age is just a number..not the culmination of experience or knowledge, except in certain cases.

    Oh, and this is off-topic – my site feeds are located here > http://feeds.feedburner.com/girlunfetteredcom
    &
    http://girlunfettered.com/atom.xml

  6. Kavitha,

    You are right that age is not a sure indicator of anything, and you seem to be especially wise and insightful for your age.

    My impression is you’re probably much more so than I was at your age.

    But when we’re young and bright, we do generally tend to underestimate the wisdom of our elders.

    Because things that appear illogical often work, while things that appear to make perfect sense turn out to be flawed in ways we never imagined.

    Conversely, older people are often inclined to write off the views of the young as naive.

    But in the context of what I was writing about, this leads to an important point.

    There are times and places and ways of speaking that are likely to be heard.

    And there are times and places and ways of speaking that are likely to be futile and counterproductive.

    Learning the difference is useful.

    Anyway, I like you and think highly of you, so by all means continue to share your views.

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